Last month, we talked about the ‘communication connection’ and how communication is essential to every healthy relationship. This month, we will look at seven building blocks to healthy relationships. Did you know that any relationship you are in right now can improve by 50 percent? How? Simply by improving yourself in your approach to the relationship. How many times have we said, “God, please change them!” Many times, we easily see the areas where the other person needs to change, yet ignore our own needed areas of improvement. Successful relationships have as much to do with becoming the right person as with the other person changing. If you want a certain kind of friend, you have to first become that kind of friend. God has chosen you to make the difference in your relationships! So, let’s look at these seven building blocks.

The first building block is: build a strong foundation. 1 Cor. 3:11 tells us “…no one can lay any other foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.” Before we can ever hope to have a strong relationship with people, we must have a strong relationship with Jesus. God promises that as we seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, all these things will be added (Matt. 6:33). Our walk with God will be the firm foundation upon which we can lay any and every other relationship.

The second building block is: be a giver, not a taker. Human nature is to be only interested in what you can get from the relationship. However, in order to cultivate healthy relationships, we need to look for ways to serve and bless. Many times, as we prefer one another, we see God move in the other person in a way we would never have seen if we demanded our way or our rights. Serving others is disarming to them.

The next building block is: speak and think the best about the other person. Rather than pointing out faults, criticizing or complaining, find the things that are praiseworthy and highlight them. A good rule of thumb is that if we guard our thoughts, our mouths won’t get us in as much trouble. Eph. 4:49 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs….”

The fourth building block is: love them as Christ has loved you. Jesus said in John 13:34, “…love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” It is important to always remember that love is a choice, not an emotion, and right choices eventually bring right emotions.

The next building block is: pray, of course. Prayer releases the power of God in their lives. Prayer changes things.

The sixth building block is: forgive. Unforgiveness is like a spiritual cancer; it can kill and destroy a relationship.

The final building block is: push and promote the other’s walk with Christ. There is nothing that pulls two people together more, in a healthy way, than a mutual and thriving walk with God. However, the opposite is true as well. We ought to inspire those we care about by encouraging them toward God in our example, as well as in our words and encouragements. When people are around you, are they challenged to be more like Jesus? Are they lifted up spiritually, or do they feel comfortable in their flesh?

These steps sound simple; in fact, they are not profound. But if we are honest, we often neglect these simple essentials to building quality relationships. Which steps spoke to you? Why not implement them in your life today, and watch your relationships get smoother, deeper and healthier!

-Jim Wehrer, Youth Pastor
(adapted from H2O curriculum by Dean Hawk)